My Black Hole of Agony and Despair

I Am Suffocated By Hopelessness

Lightning leaps across the ashen sky
Only at these moments
Is the true scale of my task illuminated

A solid sheer fortress mountain range stretches unbroken
from the horizon of doom
across the valley of murdered hopes and entombed dreams
to the other horizon
of doom

Horrified, my will evaporates into wisps of weakness
My knees buckle
My torso topples
Heaving for oxygen, my lungs expand and contract in desperate oscillation
Yet they take in only the caustic and bitter dust of futility

Lao Tzu, a lousy angst poet whose feelings were neither deep nor important, once said "a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step"
Well then, smartass, step right up and remodel my fucking master bathroom

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You can now leave comments on the posts
You can share your feelings and your experiences
You can express the deepest tremblings
the most portentious ponderings
the slightest rippling vibrations
of your soul

But it doesn't mean your feelings are Deep and Important

Like mine

Every Day I Hate Myself

I set my dignity in the styrofoam-lined storage chest
and lock it
inside

Soulless, I strap myself in my steel-framed carriage of death
Unblinking, I proceed willingly down the freeway of devastation to the factory of failure

Today is the first day
of an infinitesimally smaller purgatory of pain and humiliation
than yesterday
was the first day
of

I beg the electronic card reader for approval
I prostrate myself before the system
Am I good enough to suck your dick today?

Chicks Are So Shallow

Screaming lead bullets of anguish perforate my tortured skull
My existence is a concerto of catastrophe, a symphony of suffering
A sonata of sorrow
Only I see the morbid, bleeding truth behind the plastic commercialized megamall lies

Chicks are so shallow
Why do they gravitate to the empty hollowness of males with strength and self-confidence?
Don't they know that to have to the gall to approach a girl and initiate a conversation is to be an evil arrogant misogynist date-rapist?
Damn you shallow whores
I shun the world of strength, self-confidence, and healthy facial complexions
I am ashamed of my penis

Alone I lurk on the shadowy margins outisde your world of phoniness
The pain of my purgatory grants me the power of superior perception
I have eyes to see the truth of pain and death
A soul to feel the infinite agony of this earthly existence
Damn you brazen strumpets
How can you choose laughter and fun when all is pain and darkness?
How can you humor the advances of testosterone-drunk football hero rapists when I offer you my world of darkness and misery?
(Not as in actually, outwardly OFFER, I mean "allow you access after you take the initiative and effort to penetrate my 3491 layers of withdrawn painful shyness")
How can you?
Whores.
Chicks are so shallow.

And Now For Something Completely Different On Fire With Desire In The Night

In the night
You know the time is right
To keep on rockin' never stoppin' 'till the mornin' light
So don't fight
In the night
From the feelin' inside you know there's nowhere to hide
In the night it's allright hold on tight in the night
to keep on rockin' never stoppin 'till the mornin light
You got the feelin' inside and you're holdin' on tight
wild child rockin' everything in sight
in the night
never stop to keep up the fight

You're on fiyaahh
burnin' with desiyaahh
The fiyaahh of desiyaahh burnin' down to the wiyaahh
I'm no liyaahh
In the night it's the burnin', yearnin' desiyaahh on fiyaahh
Feel the fiyaahh of desiyaahh burnin' hiyaahh and hiyaahh
I'm no liyaahh pump your tiyaahh with the flames of desiyaahh
In the night
You know the feelin's allright
In the night
In the night!

Everything I Thought Was Real Is Bullshit And It's Not Fair

I used to have faith in your words
I used to believe the things you showed me were real
I really believed in the belief that the reality of you was really for real
But now my eyes are open
and I can see
so painfully
That this reality is not the reality I thought it should be
It's all bullshit!
You lied, you lied to me
I can't believe the faith you've wrung out of me
I can't withstand the hurt you've heaped on to me
It's not fair reality will not accomodate me
It's not fair!
This burden of pain is more than I can bear
I think I'm losing all control
I'm trying to gather up the shattered shards of my soul
I'm falling further into the boundless black hole

can you repair my battered truth?
It's all your fault so go fix everything you destroyed
reality must be sensitive to my needs

and bring me a burrito.

Liar.

Welcome to My Pit of Oblivion

Hungry rats gnaw at the last putrid tatters of flesh that cling to the scattered bones of the dead
Their dark, menacing forms scurry beneath the shadows
In the bottom of the pit at the bottom of the world
No one can survive the oppressive odor, the intense isolation, the suffocating lightlessness
But me

I dug my pit of oblivion inch by inch with my bare hands
For I am too dark and disturbed to wear sturdy leather work gloves plus they're hard to dig with (OK I used a shovel but the handle broke on the second shovelful)
damn you foul shovel for you bring me nothing but pain and anguish
I don't need the shovels of this corrupt and hollow society
I have the splendid desolation and perfect misery of my pit

of Oblivion



um, somebody toss me a burrito? Chicken fajita?


somebody?

SOMEBODY???

This heartless cold cruel world cannot even bother to heave a single burrito
to a miserable sensitive soul struggling in the darkness
my terrified screams echo to infinity across the hollow emptiness
This wicked burrito-denying society doesn't deserve the sunshine glory of my presence
nor the exquisite sorrow of My Pit

Nobody Understands My Pain


Dark winds of emptiness blow unceasingly across the black wasteland of death
Surging torrents of blood rain down from the merciless sky
A single soul screams into the blackness a howl of unbounded agony
And the sky responds
With silence

Who the hell are you?
Who the hell are you to doubt the power of my icy solitude?
I have trudged, eyes cast down, across the endless plain of self-hatred
I have crawled, feet and hands torn and bloody, through the bottomless canyon of ignorance
I have climbed the precipitous mountain of doom, from the montane forest of shadows, to the subalpine dwarf spruce krumholz of twistedness, across the alpine tundra of frozen desolation, to the highest peak of suffocation not to mention serious altitude sickness
You don't understand my pain
No one understands my pain

You dwell in a bullshit world of shallow plastic bright happiness
You shop at Abercrombie
I alone bear witness to the dark misery and seductive anguish of Hot Topic
No one understands my pain